Opposing Forces: Rage and Love

I have been avoiding this entry for a while because after I posted my previous one I realized that this is the least interesting to me of the series. The thing is, love is far too broad of a topic to cover and could cause confusion since I'm looking at it strictly from an emotional perspective. So I need to clarify this all upfront, if I say anything that seems offbeat in regards to love it may because I'm only looking at the surface of the issue rather than diving deep into truly defining the word.

The purpose of Northern Light(s) as a whole was to dive more into relationships between each other and how we can develop them better. My ultimate goal is to ask questions rather than answer them.

Let's focus on rage first. There are two different definitions I came across I wish to look at:

1. Fury, A state of extreme anger.
2.  Something that is desired intensely.

As I stated in my previous entry, greed, rage, and fear are all self-based emotions. Rage is the extreme step above anger and both emotions are felt, mostly, when you have been wronged in some way.

Anger is often a justified feeling since it often comes out of betrayal or pain that others have inflicted upon you. Rage is what happens when you allow anger to intensify after internalizing your feelings towards those who have done something bad to you. Essentially what happens is you get hurt, you let that emotion of hurt turn into anger, and then after letting it sit for a little while rage takes control of your heart.

Often friends help your rage grow. 

"Wow, I can't believe they did that to you." 

Or my personal favorite heartless comforting phrase:

"Don't worry, they'll get it in the end."

Rage is one of the most dangerous emotions along the spectrum because it clouds your judgment and consumes your mind. You develop tunnel-vision and become focused on thoughts of revenge or even hatred. All you see is your own pain.

An obvious cure for rage would seem to be a loving spirit and it is. Love is on the opposite side of the spectrum. Love is pure and ultimately selfless in comparison to rage. The only problem with love is when it often crosses the line toward something else which people tend to hide behind. Many have done selfish things hiding behind love when it was really lust, among other things. 

You see, something people fail to realize about love is that's it is more about what you can do for others than it is about what can be done for you.

The common theme amongst the positive side of the spectrum is that they are selfless, but what people fail to realize is that sometimes even the purest of emotions can be manipulated for personal gain. Love is the one most commonly manipulated. People utilize others abilities to connect to their emotions for their own gain all the time. Whether a homeless man plays off of someone's compassion to pan-handle (not all pan-handlers are bad but I've heard some dangerous stories!) or a teenage boy convinces a girl he's in love with her to get in her pants, manipulation happens.

Love can be defined as: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.

I stated that love is more about what you do for others than you do for yourself and that transcends simple romantic love (not that this is a simple topic). It is also true for all of your relationships. I'm convinced that the love you share with your friends is one of the most powerful emotional connections there is. Let me explain:

You're born into your family and there's an automatic emotional connection made through the fact that you're of the same flesh and blood. Your parents raise you and your brothers and sisters annoy you, but you all, for some reason, care about each other through a strong connection (obviously there are certain scenarios that negate this, but I imagine there's a connection regardless of poor parental involvement).

Also, when it comes to a romantic connection there are obvious reasons for them being made. You meet someone of the opposite sex. You fall in love with them. You connect at a deep emotional level that is almost symbiotic since the two of you are so different from each other but sacrifice so much so the two of you can be together. Finally, through marriage or other methods, you connect physically as the maker intended (imagine that being said with an Irish accent, it just feels right).

Now to my long-winded point. The reason friendship connections are so strong is that there is nothing previously there that motivates us to make them happen nor is there the promise of that physical/emotional relationship in the future. You're just a couple of people with like minds and hearts who learn to love each other by association. You share your dreams and develop a sense of destiny together.

I realize that not all friendships take that kind of a turn, but I'll be honest, my closest friends have allowed me to feel a sense of purpose in my loneliest hours. They have helped me find strength I wasn't aware existed and for that I am more than grateful.

I love my friends.

Sure, they make me angry at times but the love we share is more powerful than the potential rage. Rage is the true test against love. You know that two people care about each other more than they do themselves when they get into a fight that should break them apart, and they do...for a time. But they ultimately find themselves back to each other. Everyone fights...everyone argues yet we have to rise above that rage that dwells inside our hearts in those moments.

Really, it comes down to motives (yes another common theme). Emotions are all about motives. Rage can only take place if you love yourself more than you love those around you. I know this sounds harsh but I see no way around it.
 
At the end of the day, emotions will always be about control. Willpower is at the center of the spectrum because it's what brings everything else together. When you love someone, will is what causes you to act out on it. When you feel that rage toward someone who hurt you, will is what suppresses the fury and gives you balance.

All it takes is some control and balance in order for survival to take place. Everyone has in them the strength and will to make it through the day. The only question is whether or not they're willing to accept the responsibility of acting selflessly.

As always, it's about the decisions you make that create who you are. You can choose to live wisely or you can choose to live poorly.

It's your call.

Who do you want to be?

-Chris "Highball" Peters

Next up will be an exciting conversation...We get Fear and Hope. Two of my favorite topics. But until then, I'm always up for dialog.

Opposing Forces: Avarice and Compassion

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."
-William Penn

In my previous entry I stated that I would be talking about the Emotional Spectrum in my next entries. Today, the topic of avarice and compassion have been on my mind, given that I feel they are the opposites of each other.

The Emotional spectrum is an idea formed by Geoff Johns through a popular comic series in which certain emotions power different groups of people. There are negative emotions and there are positive ones. But each one interacts with each other in impacting ways. So let's start by defining our two emotions:

• Avarice (Greed): Excessive or inordinate desire of gain; greediness after wealth; covetousness; cupidity; Inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs or deserves...
• Compassion: a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering; the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. 

It should be pretty easy to see the difference between the two of these. Avarice is about what you can do for yourself, whereas compassion is about what you can do for others.

I've seen greed drive so many people to do extremely selfish things and it's terrible to imagine that's the world we live in. I would love to blame American society for greed, but let's face it, humanity hasn't changed much. We are driven by the same instinctive desires as our ancestors and have to deal with them the same way as they did.

I can understand why people want to possess more, there's a lot of amazing things out there! Technology has come such a long way and it's remarkable how much we have progressed throughout the years. I think it's natural to want something. A part of story is being goal oriented. Without goals, how would we have direction?

The key thing to remember when it comes to wanting something is:

What are your motives? Why do you want _____________?

At the center of the emotional spectrum lies will. The will to act is one of the key ingredients into controlling your emotions and finding balance in life. A lot of people (mainly Christians) would scoff at the idea of willpower. I don't.

I think it's important to remember that we have designed with tools and abilities to overcome our emotional struggles. In the case of avarice it's as simple as ignoring the desires that are self serving. It's difficult, especially when someone you know has what you want. Envy is dangerous and destructive. It eats at you until you lose yourself in your desire, and you forget why you wanted it in the first place.

The truth of the matter is that maybe in the beginning your motives were pure.

"Man if I had this _____________ maybe, just maybe, I could make a different in someone's life"...yet you never acquire what you wished for. You grow a disdain for other people who are better off than you are and even for people that offer up encouragement.

the trick is to fight these desires with a more pure emotions. This is where compassion comes into play. In the past I've talked about the differences between sympathy and empathy. I've stated that sympathy is the right step above pity and that empathy is the pure form of sympathy. Sympathy is simply about loyalty and telling a friend you understand why they feel the way they do. Empathy is actually putting yourself in their shoes and feeling what they feel.

However, compassion, is wanting to do something to help those you now feel for. It's a step by step process that ends with action. You have to arrive at the understanding that you must strive to look out for the needs of others.

Compassion is one of the rarest emotions in humanity. In fact, we suffer from not having enough of it. Greed has overpowered it for far too long and it's heartbreaking.  I've often written about how selfishness must turn into selflessness in order for growth to take place. This goes hand in hand with the ideas surrounding compassion.

I focus on the individual because the whole will change if individuals become...well, individual. Knowing who you are is important in order to shine your light. Everyone needs to receive compassion and everyone needs to give it. The more compassion you show for others the closer you become to finding who you are. Compassion breeds identity. 

At the end of the day, you have to decide who you are going to be. I'm convinced that life doesn't truly begin until you decide to put away your selfish desires and start living for the people around you. It starts with compassion and ends with inspiring hope. Compassion seems meaningless if other people don't take the hint and find it in their own hearts. A domino effect needs to occur if change is to take place in the lives you touch.

As I've stated, willpower is at the center of the spectrum. Without it there is no control and no balance. Where you acquire the will to act is completely up to what you believe in and what you hope for. Even compassion can have a negative impact on you if you're not careful with what you give away. Sometimes you can give and give and give until there's nothing left for you to give.

Soul care is important which is why you must find balance. I believe C.S. Lewis was the one who said that an extreme of anything is a bad thing. Even compassion has its limits.

Let me encourage you with this: Live so that others may see how its done. If we focus on the helping those in need, our problems will become easier to handle and our fear will be easier to overcome.

Chris "Highball" Peters

Next up: Opposing Forces: Rage and Love