Snow...Chestnuts...Open Fires...and All That Fun Stuff

The Christmas Season is in full swing. A time of year where everyone is focused on gifts. From the mystery surrounding what awaits you under that glorious green tree to the chance at making a loved one smile with your own generosity, gifts are a predominate part of Christmas.

When we are  younger, we are more concerned with what gifts will be given to us.

What am I going to get this year? What did my rich uncle send? I really hope my great aunt didn't send socks again...I mean really, of all the things in the world you thought a ten year old boy with a taste for Legos, the Super Nintendo, and basketball would need...you chose socks. Way to go. The relative of the year award clearly goes to you.

Hopefully, as you grow older you start to focus less on what you're going to get and more on what you're going to give. It feels like the natural progression toward maturity and wisdom. Don't get me wrong, it's still nice to receive from family and see exactly how much people care about you. One of the ways we know people love us is by their level of generosity toward our well-being. We are more prone toward helping the brother who has been there all our life than a stranger we just met at a chance encounter on the bus or at a friend's Christmas party. You're allowed to care more about your brother than the crazy person with a bushy mustache that kept asking over and over again if you wanted a candy cane for five dollars.

I personally have never been all too festive around any holiday. I like Christmas. I think it's a Great time of year, but there's always been this stigma surrounding the holiday that generosity and cheer only exist during December and I never really bought into that. Regardless, I can't  help but get around the fact that this year it's different. I cannot help but get into the Christmas spirit.

A part of what makes Christmas so special is watching what everyone chooses to give of themselves for others. A major part of gifts is actual giving and that's where the magic of Christmas truly exists. Many people probably look at the Christmas story and see the Magi giving gifts to baby Jesus and that's where we make our connection for giving around this season. The problem is, their gifts were not the point. It was God's gift to humanity, wrapped in cloth and lying in a trough. Jesus was the gift.

God gave a part of himself in order for us to find our own lives. He took on the world's burdens for the sake of our freedom. He gave...he gives.

Jesus' story did not start with his miraculous birth nor did it end there. There is a central narrative that exists throughout human history that is always building toward something and with great purpose. Jesus was born so that you and I may see how to live and he died to show us what we may have to sacrifice in order to step into and craft our own destinies.

The season to give is always. It never stops. Look around. It's not difficult to find a need that must be met. People are hurting, hungry, and hoping everywhere. You do not have to ship off to Africa to find someone in need.

I have a challenge to all who may read this, whether you share my beliefs or not you have to acknowledge that the Earth is filled with pain, suffering, and people in desperate need of help. It's easy to turn away and focus on ourselves. It's easy to close your eyes and plug your ears, but what's not easy is avoiding your heart. I believe that compassion exists in every human. We may not see it but it's there, waiting for us to tap into. It's a scary emotion that demands action.

My challenge is simple. My challenge is to act on that compassion. My challenge to everyone this Christmas season is to give something of yourself to someone who in great need. Whether it be money for a nonprofit organization, change for a homeless man, time spent at an orphanage or foster care, or just time spent with someone that's lonely, find a need and meet it.

I guarantee that you will find life in those moments and it will fuel your compassion toward making more life giving choices in the future. It is when we step into moments of purpose that we are fueled and truly become alive.

Yet, there's another part to the challenge. This is the hardest part about doing something good for others. After you've done whatever it is that you chose to do...don't tell anyone about it. I know how unreasonable that may sound, but I promise you this you will not regret your selfless action because at the end of the day it wasn't about you.

In the end, we were created for the sake of those around us. We were formed to sacrifice our own desires so that others may find life.

What does it all cost?

Your life.

What do you gain?

Your life.

Confessions

It has been quite a while since I last posted an entry. In fact, it's been 8 months. It would be easy to sit here and say that I just got busy or that I ran out of things to say, but in this case, what is easy is a lie.


I stopped writing for a few reasons. Firstly, I hate the medium. There are times where it felt like I was the only one interested in what I had to say, so why go public if nobody else cares? Another reason, plays off of an insecurity of mine. Sometimes, my mind has a way of asking this question:


Why would anyone care about what I have to say?


What gives me the right to publicly share my thoughts and for what purpose? 


Who is it for and why should they care?


The last question, is one all writers should ask. The problem is, I let it stop me from pressing on. Recently, I've been challenged to embrace my strengths rather than hide behind my weaknesses and trust me when I say there are many. 


There is this conversation of self-mastery and ownership that we as human beings tend to avoid, and rightfully so. Taking ownership of who you are for the purpose of growth and becoming stronger is difficult. I've always avoided shining a light on the things I'm good at because I've never accepted that I was actually good at those things.


People would point out to me that I was reliable but I'd shrug it off and not allow myself to believe it, even though my actions and beliefs proved that I could be relied upon. The mind can be our biggest enemy at times. For all of you over thinkers out there, when was the last time you talked yourself into self-belief instead of talking yourself down? When was the last time you stood up on your own two legs and embraced who you are?


Needless to say, I don't know if this marks the end of my hiatus. I don't know if I'll continue writing and posting my entries, but I do know this, I will from here on out try to step into the light and own my strengths. If I do not do so, not only am I doing myself a disservice, I am also missing an opportunity to help reach out to those around me. I don't know about you, but I know beyond all doubt, that I was not put on this earth for my own sake or well being.


I was created to shine. I was created to stand out. I was created to love. I was created for people. 


By the way...so were you...so what's holding you back?


Now once again, I invite you on a journey toward self-discovery, purpose, and uncertainty. It is a long and treacherous road ahead of us but I believe firmly that we can all find our way through as long as we go about this together. 

The Perfect Space

I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
-Avett Brothers 
 
Have you ever felt left out before? No matter how hard you try to fit in with those around you, there is this constant notion that it's not your place. It's as though you don't belong.

There are a lot of ideas about what being in this world and not of this world looks like. For me, it's about being counter cultural. It's about not accepting the status-quo just because it's the popular opinion, even within the world of faith.

Maybe a part of being counter-cultural means always feeling like you don't belong.

This should not be a means for pretentious behavior. I am no better than those around me, like-minded or not. We all deal with the same emotions, problems, and issues. We all have dirt. We all have grime. The question is, what are you willing to do about it?

Feeling out of place is no excuse to watch events unfold from the sidelines. The truth of the matter is:

We all have purpose.

We all have destiny.

We all have a choice.

Choose to live for those around you. Choose to make the world a better place.

Be somebody.

He Wasn't Right in the Head

Pessimism is not something that flows naturally within. It is a choice. Pessimism is the disbelief that good things can happen. It leads to cynicism, the disbelief in humanity. It slowly decays the heart. It destroys hope.

In the same way, optimism is a choice. Hope is at the center of the optimist's heart. It fuels them to their very core. Quite frankly, a man has to be out of his mind to believe in hope. It is a completely insane venture.

 

Consider for a moment what the world would look like if you chose to embrace that madness? 

 

Would you inspire others? Would you finally be able to bring joy to those around you? Would your hope become the world's hope?

 

The future is a notion paved with fear and worry. The truth of the matter is pessimism is a more realistic approach to life. Everything that fuels the pessimist comes from fire sparked from disappointment in others. People let the pessimist down which brings us to the slow decline into cynicism, or death of the soul (wording is subjective). 

I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to accept a realistic approach to living. I want to dream bigger than what's in front of me and I want to do so holding onto an ever elusive hope. Hope of change. Hope of growth. Hope of life.

At the end of the day, it is absolutely insane to believe that I could help make the world a better place. At the end of the day, you'd have to be mad to believe your greatest dreams could become an incredible reality.

Once again consider what it would look like to embrace that madness! Consider what the world would look like if you chose insanity, right here, right now.

As for me, I choose insanity!

Would You Answer Me?

If the sky should fall
Would you stand by me?
Would you stand by me?


In the worst of it all
Would you answer me?
Would you answer me?

I'll never understand compassion to its fullest. What would drive someone to help those around them without expecting anything in return? It's crazy, right?

Have you ever been to that place where it felt like the sky and everything under it was caving in over top of you? It's as though a wave crashes over you, suffocating each ounce of air from your lunges. Everything feels heavy in those moments and you know within the depths of your soul if someone would reach out for your hand, all would be well.

Who do you cry out to in your worst moments? Everyone has an image of a person, deity or belief in their minds when things go bad. Maybe it's a way for you to throw the blame on others or maybe it's your soul searching for help.


The lyrics I posted are sung through desperation. Pain. Sorrow. Guilt. Sadness. The list could go on forever.

The truth of the matter is God will answer the call. It might be directly or indirectly, either way, he will come through for you. Jesus met people at their most basic needs or where they were at. He continues to do so to this day. If followers of Christ believe they are supposed to imitate Christ,  then they too should be able to answer the cries of a hurting people.

I'd like to think that if the sky were falling around you, I'd be standing right beside you.


I'd like to think that through the worst of it all, I'd be able to answer your plea for help. 

At the end of the day, compassion has to take form. It has to be seen through you and me, otherwise, we're wasting our time, claiming to be something we clearly are not.

Maybe this entry is a challenge, for myself, and those willing to participate with me. Let's try to live up to our humanity and change the world around us, one compassionate act at a time. It doesn't have to be huge, doesn't have to be some grand dramatic gesture. Sometimes all it takes is a smile that can bring joy to all around you.

If the sky should fall
Would you stand by me?
Would you stand by me?


In the worst of it all
Would you answer me?
Would you answer me?

And we will sing in harmony
Only to you my love

Stand Your Ground

"Is this the life I'm coming back to? Is this the strongest emotion in the universe? Is fear what controls everyone and everything? Yeah. I didn't think so."

- Hal Jordan

The subject of fear will always captivate my attention. We see it everyday in ourselves and those around us. Many of us would claim to be fearless.No one really wishes to be the poster child for fear, yet so many of us are qualified to be it. 

I've had extensive conversations recently with people all dealing and struggling with different problems. Each of the situations have a clear difference but they all root from the same emotion:FEAR. 

Is there a cure for fear? Is there a way to eradicate its symptoms entirely?

There is this idea that when someone overcomes his or her fear, it's gone for good and he or she will never have to deal with that fear again. It reads quite well on paper but in actuality it is far from how it works. You learn this when you turn off the lights again or come face to face with a snake.

The first problem with fear is that we believe it's wrong to be afraid so we don't talk about it. Let's set the record straight right here and now.

FEAR FACT # 1: EVERYONE FEELS FEAR!!!

You may describe it as something else but we all deal with being afraid from time to time. It's natural. It's emotional. It's real. 

FEAR FACT # 2: EVERYONE HAS THE ABILITY TO OVERCOME THEIR FEARS! 

Admitting your fears to yourself and a close friend is a great start toward overcoming them. Fear will grab a hold of you regardless of your willingness to accept it as a problem so the sooner you acknowledge it the better off you'll be.

I know I don't typically provide answers to problems with my entries. I'm a firm believer in provoking thought through questions but quite frankly all I'm hearing lately are excuses wrapped in fear. "Well I'm worried about this..." Or "I'm afraid I'm not good enough."

I am not pointing fingers at anyone, I'm trying to help because fear is understandable. I struggle with my own every day and find ways to move passed the obstacles as they come. But I'm not always able to do it. I'm writing because I'm on the side of those too scared to move forward in life or too afraid to stand out.

Excuses only work up until a point. Make no mistake, trying to overcome your fear is the scariest place in the universe to be standing, but it's the place you must plant your feet at, otherwise, you'll wind up dead. 

Eleanor Roosevelt once sad: 

Do one thing every day that scares you. 

Mrs. Roosevelt was on to something. Excuses are easy to make when dealing with things that frighten us. Don't let the excuse win the battle, because your war will end faster with each moment you let slip away between your fingers. You cannot live life worrying about what tomorrow has for you. Accept that all you are given is this moment and you have to make the absolute best of it. 

"For me it's about precision, doing exactly what I need to get the job done. Concentrated power. Focused ambition. Tangible glory."

-Hal Jordan

Death to Destruction

It seems as if all my bridges have been burned,
You say that’s exactly how this grace thing works

-Mumford & Sons

I was talking to a close friend recently who had  recently been in a few situations where he had power over others. He was given the opportunity to destroy someone that had wronged him in the past. He had every right to strike, and strike hard, but he didn't do that.

He chose to bring life to the situation.

He chose to build something rather than tear it down.

We began talking about how grace and mercy can be applied to situations. It is difficult to choose mercy over destruction, especially when we have harsh feelings toward those we must show it, but isn't that the point?

We MUST show mercy.

Without it we wouldn't be in a position to show it in the first place.

Grace and mercy are what we are given so grace and mercy are what we must also distribute to others. It's not easy, but doing the right thing seldom is.

At the end of the day, people are going to hurt you. People are always going to tear you down when you need to build. That's when you have to decide who you want to be. Will you be someone that joins the common road of constant destruction or will you be someone that chooses to build others up?

It's your decision.

Decide what to be...and go be it.
-Avett Brothers

Live

Maybe all we are given is this moment.

Maybe the future is none of our business.

Look Away: At Your Own Risk

There are feelings inside each of us that incite movement. They can cause pain, heart ache, joy, hope, and even love. These are feelings rooted in the depths of our souls.

Compassion is birthed from acting upon these feelings. It stems from empathy and perhaps something deeper.

What actions spark movement within your soul?

The other day I passed by two homeless men while walking to school. One man was wrapped inside a blanket, begging for change. His eyes were harsh and his skin was tough. It was cold, for Los Angeles, and he succeeded at looking pathetic. He was painful to look at.

The other man I pass every day. He sleeps outside of a run down store and always has various items surrounding him. His eyes were beyond blood shot, either from drugs or alcohol. He stood, with his back turned toward the street. His arms moved about in an odd fashion as he engaged in a staring contest with the wall...He was winning when I passed him.

I would love to share a story with you about how I spoke to them, asking them what their names were and what they liked to eat.

I would love to tell you about how I immediately went inside Ralph's (a local grocery store) and bought them something to eat.

I would love for you to hear about how I changed their hopeless lives...

But I didn't.

As I moved passed these men, my soul whispered guidance. A voice told me to do all of those things mentioned...

But I ignored it.

With each step I took, I had every opportunity to turn back around and help them...

But I kept moving.

For the sake of finishing an assignment, I gave up my soul's longing to be somebody.

When your soul leads you to putting others needs before your own, do not ignore it. That voice, is one you should never ignore. With all that you have inside of you, find a way to deny your instincts to look away from the world. It is a world hurting and in need of healing.

When your heart breaks for anyone, find a way to be there for them at full capacity.

I failed those men in that moment. It haunts me, because I could have been the answer to their problems in that moment but I chose my own needs.

I was selfish.

I cannot take those moments back but I can find a way to do better in the next ones. If I hold onto my mistake and allow it to shape me so that I can do better next time, the pain will be easier to deal with, but I will still hold onto the pain.

Please allow my failure at demonstrating compassion be a lesson to anyone reading this to always strive to better yourselves by taking yourself out of the equation. 

‎"The artist is the one who does not look away." - Akira Kurosawa  

The world is your canvas, It is time to paint your masterpiece.

The world around you is crying. You can be the answer to those tears.

How do we start?

                            By refusing to look away.

Insanity

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
- Something Beautiful NeedtoBreathe

Sanity is a state of mind I have always found vastly overrated.

I have always felt that if the world around me is considered sane, then point me in the direction of the nearest psych ward. The world around us is full of expectations for living a normal life. It's all about appeasing the gods of status quo.

If we were meant to live our lives just like everyone else, what would the point of living be? God created each and every one of us to be different. We all have a unique and individual personality that sets us apart from anyone else, yet each decision made for normalcy draws us into conformity.

Life is not rational! We are not called to lives of mental health. Our nature is far more barbaric and fierce than we allow ourselves to admit.

Who I am, is defined in the moment. Thankfully, thousands of moments happen with each passing minute. Opportunity for adventure surrounds us. All we have to do is allow for it to consume our souls and embrace the madness.

You're probably reading this and choosing to believe I am plain and simply nuts. You're probably right. For those of you who do not understand what I am writing, I just have this to say:

Hold onto your sound mind. Keep your balanced lifestyle. Cherish your sanity. As for me...for me, I choose
                                      INSANITY.

Embrace Madness

"Because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes, "awww!"
-Jack Keruoac

For me...for me, I choose insanity.

Already Dead

Everything happens for a reason.

Have you ever had a day that seems to be out to get you?

It's as though every moment you face was specifically designed to bring you down?

Then the next day comes around and yet again it's knocking you to your feet. Soon, your week is behind you and all you feel is a sense of failure and loss...like you did something wrong.

There are times when all we work for will appear to have been pointless, and all that remains are remnants of once confident people.

Everything happens for a reason.

Life can just plain suck, from time to time. The truth is, we find ourselves stuck in mud and dirt far too often. Our natural instinct is to be ashamed of being dirty. We like to feel clean.

Who's to say that getting dirty is a shameful experience? We all experience it, but when others have mud in their eyes we choose to judge and criticize their behavior rather than show compassion.

Everything happens for a reason.

At the end of the day, it is our failures that we remember more clearly than our victories. Why does this happen? What makes failure ring so true in our souls?

Maybe it is because we want to change so badly what we did. No matter how hard we try, we can never take back a moment that has passed and that hurts. We have to choose to move past hurtful events. We have to choose to carry the pain as far as we're meant to...and then drop it.

There are no coincidences. There are no accidents.


Everything happens for a reason.

Narrative

I have been in Los Angeles for about a week and a half now and I have to be honest, I like it here. Sure there are plenty of things to hate about it, like the smog, traffic and overall feelings of superiority residents seem to have here, but those are prices one must pay in order to live in the most creative city in the world.

This town, is a mosaic of talent and vision. Everyone has something they want to accomplish.

Everyone has a story to tell.

I am blessed to have made the journey here with a couple of my close friends. I am also fortunate to be reunited with old friends. I have said goodbye to family, close friends, and people I care about to be here and it's hard to do that.

The first two weeks at LAFSC are designed as orientation. You meet your roommates and classmates as well as the teachers. On Saturday, the day of checking in, they had all of us students meet for dinner. They placed name tags at random tables across the room. I ended up at a table full of girls.

Side note, this is the first time in college I've been at an institution with a higher ratio of males than of females. Just an interesting observation that tells you about girls and film.

Our resident director chose to sit at the table with us and it was a great night. Dan got a kick out of the fact that I was at the girl table. He even said it was only funny because it was me. I reminded him that I spent a lot of time with the volleyball team last semester and that he was just jealous he couldn't get his pimpin' on (because I talk like that all the time).

That Sunday, we had more orientation at the center, which is within walking distance from the apartments. Me and Aaron walked by the La Brea Tar Pits which were an interesting place. We were not able to go to church that week but this past Sunday we were able to, and encouraged to, go wherever we wished to.

If you know anything about me and the city of Los Angeles, you probably know where I attended. I went to Mosaic, which is the church Erwin McManus is over. It was a 7:00 P.M. service, so I spent most of my day sitting with anxiety. I skipped out on an opportunity to go to the Santa Monica Pier for the sunset, which is truly a glorious experience I wish to take part in soon, but I knew that the group wouldn't make it back in time for me to go to Mosaic.

At around 6:15 p.m. myself, Aaron, and a new friend named Andrew, loaded into Vanilla Bear (my Bonneville). We took off and met up with one of our instructors, John and his wife. Some of the girls from the school found out about the place as well and decided to follow along.

If I was being completely honest, I would tell you that I was scared for a moment. You see, I've been wanting to attend this church since I first read  The Barbarian Way when I was in eleventh grade. That is a long time to be building expectations, and I didn't want to be disappointed. Sitting in the seat before the service started was kind of like my experience right before watching The Dark Knight. Everything was fine until the lights faded down and the trailers began to play and I asked myself, "What if this sucks?!?"

Thankfully, like The Dark Knight, Mosaic did not suck. I refuse to speak too soon, but recently my means to gauge my experiences are whether or not I am moved. Well, I was moved.

The series they started last week was: Narrative: Live Your Story.

Wow. What a convenient topic?

Erwin shared his story, and in turn challenged us to write ours. Story is powerful and has the potential to impact lives and mine began with reading a book.

A month or so ago, I made the statement that I look forward to the day I get to thank Erwin McManus for ruining my life. It seems like an off-kilter thing to say but I would not be who I am today had it not been for his words. Many have read them, and he did not intend them to be designed for one person in particular. Regardless, they changed my life and I was able to follow up on that statement I made.

After the message, he was wandering around in the back near where I was standing. I walked up to him and he introduced himself. I did the same, and sounded like an idiot, I'm sure. I couldn't make eye contact. I felt like a child with attention deficit disorder. I gave him a little introduction before telling him what I wanted to say, but I said it and he smiled and said thank you.

He was kind and soft spoken, exactly what you would expect of the man.

That night felt like home. It felt as though I was supposed to be there and continue that journey...for now. A lot has happened in the past week and a half, and even more happened in the month prior. 

The truth is, I am not so sure what's going to happen. I interview for an internship sometime this coming Friday and I am excited to see where that leads me.

As for the future, no one can say for sure what will happen next. All I know is that for the first time in my life, I'm trusting that God has a plan for my story. It is going somewhere and I am looking forward to seeing where that may be.

With that said...Welcome to Los Angeles.

-Christopher Peters

Awake My Soul

A common theme this time of year is change.

Today is the first of a new year as well as a brand new decade. To usher it in, I have decided to change the title of the blog. What was once Northern Light(s), is now Awake My Soul.

The reason for the change are simple, I have changed. If you've read the original blog post explaining the title, you'll know that it was a reference to a band that I do not listen to anymore.

I have not been writing new entries to the speed or level of what I've done in the past so I appreciate anyone who has kept up with it regardless of my slowness.

So here it is: New year. New me. New title.

Awake My Soul is a song by one of my favorite bands. This particular band is not one I see myself ever growing tired of. With powerful, soul stirring lyrics that strike hard with every line, it's hard to grow weary from their honest, genuine, and intense passion.

In these bodies we will live
In these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love
You invest your life
-Awake My Soul

Ah yes. Where you invest your love...you invest your life. If that does not resonate with your soul, you're clearly missing something. Love is a tricky subject. I've spent a lot of time avoiding the topic as a whole, but it is far too important to sweep under the rug.

Love is action. Love is raw. Love is wild. Love cannot be tamed, although we've attempted to civilize it which is why it becomes such a sought after topic.

Songs have been sung, movies have been filmed, and novels have been written all about the subject of love.

We, humanity, are drawn to it. No matter how much it may hurt us, something keeps bringing us back for more. That's because it is something that should be equally given as well as it is received. 

The human heart is fragile so we guard it, but love cannot be kept out. Love will find a way to breach all barriers that surround our weary souls.

Where does this leave us?

At some point, you must ask yourself, where do I invest my love?

If you are unsatisfied with the answer, I suggest you look deep within your soul, and find whatever it is that your heart beats for. It is a difficult journey of self-discovery, but it's one we all must constantly make.

Where do we start?

Well, I think a great place to start is by purchasing the album Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons. It will challenge you and it will change you...as long as you allow it to.

So as always, I invite you along for a new adventure. Join me through the discovery as well as the pain. Let your heart guide you through the turmoil, dirt and grime that comes with your humanity.

Let us all learn to live from the inside out.

-Christopher Peters