Christmas Thoughts

We celebrate the birth and death/resurrection of Jesus, but what we fail to do as his followers is celebrate his life.

let's face it, his dying and rebirth was truly remarkable but so was feeding the 5000 and healing the blind or even finding a way to get so many people to listen to him. The bible says there was nothing impressive about him physically so it must have been a task to achieve the audiences he spoke to daily.

As God, he saved the world. As a man, he changed it drastically.
We can be so tunnel visioned with our spirituality. We focus in on the importance of Christmas and Easter only on those specific days. Traditions are fine and all but they can take away from what truly matters, people.

David was said to be a man after God's own heart. My journey on life has led me to discovery that God's heart beats for his creation and we, humanity, are the most important of his creation.

It's pretty simple then, God lives for his creation and designed us to do the same yet it feels to me like we have lost our direction.

I am aware of how this makes me sound, like the Grinch or even Ebenezer Scrooge, and the truth is sometimes I feel like that might not be far from he truth. As I've always done, I invite you on the journey with me to explore the heart of God and bow we can practice its rhythm. Let's find a way to destroy the routines that guide our faith and fall in line with the only heartbeat that matters. 

It would feel cheap to wish you a merry Christmas in this moment so I won't do so. What I will do is wish you safe travels and a helping hand along this dangerous path we have all chosen. 
It is far from safe to enter into a relationship with your creator...but it is right.

It Might Get Loud

I recently watched a documentary called It Might Get Loud. I'm not normally one to jump on watching documentaries. In fact, I generally dislike them.

When I was told about this particular one, I decided I should go ahead and watch it. What I viewed rocked my world!

The film is a meeting between Jimmy Page, Jack White and The Edge. If you don't know who they are you probably don't listen to decent music. Jimmy Page was the guitarist for a little band called Led Zeppelin, The Edge is the guitarist for U2, and Jack White is more famous for his guitar sounds from when The White Stripes were around.

Each very different and each very unique musicians in their own right, they all met and discussed the guitar and what influenced them to pick up their instruments. I've never seen more passionate individuals.

Although, I must admit I've never listened to U2 and thought to myself, "the guitar in that song really stood out to me..." but I can appreciate The Edge just as much as the next man.

I've never seen such passion and skill taking place to this capacity. Jimmy Page, a legend in his own right, taught the others how to play Whole Lotta Love and various other songs. Jack White and the Edge picked up their guitars and they end up having somewhat of a jam session just creating music with familiar sounds.

When I finished the film, I couldn't stop smiling. Music is such a powerful source of inspiration and influences our emotions as well as our thoughts. We say that we are above such influences but at the end of the day we cannot escape them.

What's my point?

Don't get ahead of me!

Whether or not you like the music of these artists they each have a talent that's undeniable.

Jack White does not like using brand new guitars. He prefers the use of broken and beaten instruments that he has to struggle with the find the music. He wants to fight for that working relationship that comes about after long hours of making random sounds into one fluid song.

It's raw yet alive and in the end it's very real.

 So what is my point?

I don't have one So watch this and be inspired.
 

Let My Love Open The Door

When tragedy befalls you
Don't let them bring you down
Love can cure your problem
You're so lucky I'm around
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
Let my love open the door
To your heart
 -Pete Townshend

The human heart is crafty.

Sometimes, it seems as though we have no control over our feelings and it causes us to do things we could have never logically brought ourselves to do...and yet here we stand as emotional wrecks.

I've written about balance in the past and that we have to find a happy center between heart, body and mind. I stand by this belief but I can't get away from how emotions operate and effect us personally.

I've heard it said in the past that we should not trust our emotions, for they will lie to us. I cannot agree with this statement. I submit that we simply misinterpret what our emotions are trying to tell us, because they also have the capacity to protect our hearts just as much as they can destroy them.

There's nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable when it's with the right person/persons. If we don't let those closest to us into our hearts, how are we going to be able to share them with the world?

Sure, people will let us down, that's a guarantee.


Mumford & Sons opens up a song declaring: I, I can't promise you that I won't let you down.

Isn't that the truth? If more relationships started off with this declaration we'd be in much better shape.

Risk is an essential part of feeling. We will never be able to fully love without the ability to let others in. We can give and give and give ourselves until there's nothing left to give and it will be all in vain if we were too stubborn to invite others along for the journey.

It will not happen over night. Trust takes time. Trust takes patience. Trust takes endurance.

You'll know who the right people are when they're willing to climb over that wall surrounding your heart.

Those are the people that no matter how chaotic life becomes, will be standing at your side in full support of who you are.

"Turns out there are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. Speeding up, slowing down. A flight of stairs, a pretty face. Constantly changing depending on what’s happening to us out there. It’s an erratic little son-of-a-bitch. But under all that bump-a-da-bump mess there is a pattern. An order. A simple truth. It’s called love.”
-Chaos Theory

Don't Forget to Breathe

Lately it seems as though small thoughts have been dominating my mind. They always begin small and slowly build to captivate my very being until I can decide what they mean to me.

It has been said that emotionally guarded people put walls up around their hearts. Generally, they were built as a means to protect the builders from pain. This does not mean that guarded people are necessarily living in fear. It is more like they can see the signs of what will hurt them so they close shop and board the windows.

It takes a lot to trust others. It takes a lot to let people in.

I've heard it said that in order to get through to guarded people we must tear down the walls.

I do not think it is that simple.
 
I submit that anyone can take a bulldozer to the wall...but it takes someone special to find a way over top of it.

Matters of the heart are sensitive for a reason. Relationships have to start as something small in order for them to develop into something greater. Great friendships do not happen overnight. Great friendships happen over time.

When we attempt to tear down walls we hurt those we care about in the process. Pain that could have easily been avoidable becomes a reality simply because we were in a rush to heal someone's heart.

The truth of the matter is, life is a process. Relationships are a process. Story is a process. In order to live in the now we have to accept that great moments do not always happen now.

As always simply try to stop, slow down, and breathe.

Inhale. Exhale.

Your story is just beginning. Make it one worth sharing.

Unanswered Questions

Life is a grand adventure.

Most of the time, it doesn't seem to be this way. Most of the time, we live in the realm of complacency. It's the world of maybe and the universe of 'what if?'

In more recent years, I've found that life is what you make it. If you put your whole being into becoming an athlete, that's exactly what you'll get back in return, an athletic talent or toned body (whichever comes first).

So in the same way, if you spend all day focusing on yourself, your needs, and your desires, that's exactly what will come back to you in the end. Is that the life you want to lead?

One about...you?

Unanswered questions are generally treated as an enemy. To live in the unknown is to give up control of your life. When we are concentrated so heavily on ourselves, we lose control.

I cannot control what will happen tomorrow. No matter how hard I try, things will never go exactly according to plan. Life is too messy...too unpredictable.

Have you ever just tried to listen?

I'm not talking about with people, or music, or random noise, I'm talking about just listening...

Listening to your soul, and the souls of those around you. You can sometimes hear God in those moments. He doesn't draw an arrow in your path saying GO HERE NOW!

If you listen carefully, he's showing you where to go. You may go left when he says right, but somehow you end up right where you were supposed to be. It is in these moments that our character is decided. You have to decide who you are going to be and how you are going to turn it into a story worth telling.

At the end of the day, you have to eliminate the 'maybe' and destroy the 'what if?'

Because these are the words that stop you from creating a single act that will change lives.

Live in the now so that tomorrow will become easier to overcome.

Unutterable Thoughts

It's been just over a week that I've been back at school for what should be my final semester in Florida. It's great to see how transition works as old friends are no longer gracing us with their presence and new people have taken over, swarming all around. At first it's intimidating to realize that you don't know as many people as you once did but if you're brave, you might see it as a challenge for opportunity and risk. You never know what could happen.

I've always been fascinated with stories about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. I've found myself obsessed with the idea of the round table. I'm currently reading a book called THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING, which is a classic novel following the rise and fall of Arthur Pendragon and his knights of Camelot.

The round table is a symbol for equality and unity. With a rectangular or square table, someone gets a position at the head and everyone else wants to fight for the spots to the right and left of the man in command.

In the times before Arthur, kings and rulers fought for a concept called Might is Right. The strong survive and must push their strength on those around them simply for the fact that they had the power to do so. Arthur didn't like this. Arthur, under the tutelage of Merlyn, came up with a new code.

Might for Right.

The two words have a strong working relationship but not in the way thought of by those that came before Arthur's Camelot. We must utilize our strengths for the right ideas. Whether that be for freedom or religion, God or country, might had to be used for right.

Everyone has a Right to follow. 

Everyone has a purpose.

Arthur's Knight's fought for adventure, romance, quests, for maidens, and treasures. In the end, they did it to spread equality and peace throughout the land. They wanted to stop war.

They wanted to stop injustice.


They wanted freedom.

We live in a society that puts a lot of stock in position. We elect leaders for the purpose of protecting our freedoms yet the position becomes more powerful than what we were dreaming for in the first place. That's not to say that leadership is a bad thing, we need our leaders to stand up for us and rage against injustice and fight for right.

Equality is generally a word saved for conversations about race and gender but it seldom finds its way into the Right conversation. Equality did serve a purpose for racial, gender, and class movements, and there are still issues today that stem from those concepts but it's not the kind of equality I want to discuss right now.

Equal can be defined as:

Being the same in value.

When the word value comes to mind, we hardly think about our value as an individual. We think of money or products or our stuff we own. It's very material based. I don't know this to be true, but if I can be allowed to guess for a moment I have a theory. If you were to look into the minds of ten people, how many would say yes to the question: Do you think you are valuable?

My guess is very few would respond positively. But that's the problem, isn't it? We find value in what we own and what we're good at and our friends, but how many of us actually find value in ourselves? It took me a while to agree with this statement but I've finally come to terms with the fact that who you are is much more important to your identity than what you do.

You could be the best writer in the world and yet be the biggest jerk alive. What do you have to show for that? When we see ourselves as someone with little value we start to build and design a class system for those we interact with everyday. We lose our identity to the idea that we are not equal to those that are better than us. It all started by putting more stock in what you're good at and not who you are.

So it comes down to a question, what do I have to offer the world?

What value do I bring to the table?

The answer lies in your heart. The answer lies in your mind. The answer lies in you.

We can have the biggest dreams in the world and want to accomplish great things for those around us, but if your heart has holes, if your heart is empty, what's the point?

Your story is important. You have a place in this world and should not be discouraged by someone with a greater talent or skill.

Sir Lancelot was the greatest Knight of the Round Table. Every other knight wanted to be half as good as he was if not better. He had favor from the King and the people of Camelot adored him, yet on the inside he was empty. His whole life he devoted himself to being the best knight, and he became it. He devoted himself to an idea, and on the brink of obsession he accomplished his goals, but for what?

He fell in love with the King's wife and eventually had an affair with her. He had no honor left and became nothing. He was driven to madness all because his identity was wrapped up with knighthood and nothing else. Once that fell apart, he had nothing left to live for.

When your identity is stuck in what you do and not in who you are, you eventually will lose everything. You'll gain the entire world which inevitably fades away to dust. All that remains is your soul, but you didn't do anything to fill it with this notion of equality and you definitely were not fighting for

RIGHT.


"They would be at the same time so distant that unutterable thoughts of space and eternity would baffle themselves in his sighing breast,  and he would imagine to himself how he was falling upward higher and higher amongst them, never reaching, never ending, leaving and losing everything in the tranquil speed of space."
-T.H. White

Incipit Liber Primus

“What is the most resilient parasite?”

Have you ever had so many thoughts swirling around in your brain that you almost don’t have enough power to control them?

It’s almost as though these thoughts are pushing their way past the surface and trying to manifest themselves as its own entity.  They become hard to filter making it even more difficult to manage a single thought. 

Some thoughts might be healthy, while others…more destructive.

When an idea takes a hold of your mind it soon grabs onto your very being and wraps your arms into a straight jacket. It won’t let go until you are completely insane over its concepts.

It takes a powerful idea to bring someone to the brink beyond reality.  Thoughts are powerful. Thoughts can create life and yet at the same time destroy it.

Do we have control over what we think?

Do we have control over our minds?

Some have suggested that the mind is like any other muscle in the body. And like your other muscles, it must be exercised and conditioned in order to make it more durable.

We were designed with growth in mind and yet we let our brains become lazy due to inactivity. We coast through life intellectually because somewhere along the way we believed the lies that we weren’t smart enough to think for ourselves.

I think the heart of the issue lies within our fear of the word development. To reiterate an old thought, we live in an expedient society.

We want a quick fix for our problems even if it means placing a band-aid over our wounds rather than doing something to actually heal the ailment in question.

Phrases like: “time heals all wounds” intimidates us to our core all because of that first word. Time is not the only thing to heal all wounds but it is an essential step for the healing process but we are too scared to face our pain and ourselves during that time.

Nothing that is worth having (spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc.) will be given freely or with ease. We have to at some capacity earn what we are after; otherwise, what was the purpose in our pursuit to begin with?

Let us reintroduce development into our vernacular. Allow us to find the strength to press through periods of pain, horror, and dread without ignoring the issues staring us in the face.

To overcome fear and insecurities is only the beginning, but we have this strong desire to jump straight from the beginning of our journey to the end. But every good story has three parts:

A beginning…

                        A middle…

                                                And an end.

Master Storytellers

The church is full of insecure people who have a misunderstanding of who God is. I don’t blame them. I mean, we believe in an invisible deity who doesn’t seem to participate all that much in our lives. We want to believe he does but there’s just something that remains over us that brings about just enough disbelief.

It breeds just enough doubt.

Maybe the problem doesn’t lie within our interpretation of God but rather lies in our cultural need for expedience. Today we can travel across the world in minutes through technology such as the internet and cell phones. We have text messaging which offers the option of immediate reply. We watch movies and if something doesn’t blow up in the first sixteen seconds we grow bored.

We want it fast. We want it right. We want it now.

So when God doesn’t tear open the sky for us when we feel the need for him most, we lose faith.

We grow tired.

We become weak.

God can be characterized as a lot of things. To some he becomes a father or a brother or a friend, depending on who you were hurt the most by. He is the face of love, he is just, and he offers freedom to everyone.

What most people overlook about God is his role as a storyteller. He is the master storyteller and the thing about a story is this: nothing worth having is given freely.

When we were young we were warned not to touch a hot stove. Some parents explained to their children why; whereas other wonderful parents just expected their children to trust them. Children are curious no matter what age. The only way a child is going to know and comprehend in full that a stove will burn them and cause pain is if they touch it themselves.

I’m not saying that God is holding our hands over a hot oven but that doesn’t mean he won’t stop us from getting burned.

Why do we insist that God should take our problems away from us? What do we gain from his interference?

The moment we stop growing and maturing is the same moment our souls begin to die. It’s a slow process with symptoms of unhealthy apathy and a twisted sense of right and wrong.

Every good storyteller understands good structure. Early on in a story, conflict is implemented. Without it a story isn’t worth being told.

Without conflict why are we alive? Conflict is a necessary part of life we have to experience, otherwise we’d stay the same. If you live without ever being challenged are you capable of having strength?

What good is a man who has never had the chance to stand up for himself?

What good is a man who doesn’t know how to cope with pain?

What good is a man who has found no purpose?

A part of me feels that perhaps God wrote us into existence to invite us on a journey. It’s an opportunity to prove that we weren’t an accident or a mistake. It’s a chance to make a difference in the world.

We are meant to take on the attributes of God that inspire others. I don’t think a single human being can capture every aspect of God which is what makes us human. Maybe that’s what the Bible means about us being the body. Each individual person has a different way of reaching those around them. We have different skill sets, talents, and things we’re great at.

We have different means to inspire but what we all have in common is that our lives tell a story. Stories take time to tell. Not everything happens right away.

Behaviors and abilities need time to be learned. Good stories don’t happen overnight. So why do we treat God as a genie, expecting him to grant our three wishes?

If God is telling a story with our lives why don’t we be patient and allow that story to unfold?

Maybe that loneliness you’re feeling is going to help you cherish the time spent with those you care most about. Maybe one day you’ll be able to peel the weights from your shoulders and finally feel what it’s like to soar in blissful freedom.

I can speculate all day and quite frankly I’ll continue to do so. My story is one of observation and action. I’m always looking for another adventure, physically, emotionally or spiritually. Sometimes all of the above!

If you watch those around you, you might learn something. We are creatures that wear many masks and each mask hides a different fear and insecurity. An event occurred that changed your life forever that you felt the need to hide from your pain by covering it up. It became too hard to look in the mirror because your story was filled with too much drama, conflict, and hurt to handle.

So you tried to stop the story. Put it on hold until something magically saved you. The only problem is magical fixes don’t happen at the drop of a hat.

You can close your eyes and wish for the pain to go away all you want but nothing will happen.

I know for me, this is a selfish request. There is nothing in this world powerful enough to kill my spirit which allows for me growth and a sense of honor.

Life is about the choices we make. Who we are is determined by the challenges we are faced with day in and day out.

Life, like story, is full of these seemingly random moments that do not appear to connect in any way shape or form. It is not until later down the road that we realize every moment had its purpose.

Every moment has a reason.

Nothing in our life is without purpose. These stories…our stories are building toward something.

God has called all of us, in a general sense, to reach those who are lost yet that’s not all there is to life. Every individual has their own, very specific reason for living and we are constantly searching for it no matter how much it evades our grasp.

But what happens when we discover our reason for living? What happens when it all begins to come together in a perfectly serendipitous fashion?

It’s simple really…our stories spark life and we become this unstoppable force powered by the will and determination to live. Those seemingly random moments allow for us to be truly reborn as humanities greatest strength.

A man driven by purpose is one who will bow to insecurity and inspire those around him.

Freedom Earned

Yesterday, America celebrated its independence. There is something beautiful about one nation setting aside their drastic differences by coming together to acknowledge the freedom that didn't come so freely.

The price of freedom is hard work and sacrifice. That's one of the problems with my generation, they aren't willing to give up the things they want or have for a greater prize.

Freedom transcends beyond the physical. We have this tendency as people to let our burdens control our actions.

We always have our choices in life. Free will is probably the most generous gift that has been given to humanity and we abuse that freedom with every selfish choice we make.

The path of the righteouss is filled with sacrifice and pain but I'll keep my pain if it reminds me of the gifts I take for granted everyday.

The Search for Meaning (19%)

Are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

 

Our lives are designed for purpose. It's a vague statement which leads to confusion and chaos. Nobody wakes up knowing what their destiny is. 

 

Everyone is on a search for meaning. Everyone wants to live with purpose. The suicide count would be higher if this weren't true.

Without the will to live for something greater than yourself, you have nothing else to live for. We find fillers to bridge the gap like a significant other or a job but what happens when you get dumped or fired?

If you put your entire being into something that can fail, you'll lose yourself entirely. There are consequences for every decision we make. Sometimes they render goodness while other times very evil things can come into existence.

 

If all we did was exist what would be the point?

There has to be something more. There has to be something bigger than you or me.

Live for more than yourself.

 

Live for something greater.

Capacity to Overcome (12%)

Fear is a powerful agent.

It can control us.

It can motivate us.

Or it can cripple us.

I don’t know what’s in store tomorrow…in fact, no one does. Why do we live as though we’re in control of our fate? Since when did we choose our destiny?

I believe in Destiny but I’m not much for admitting fate is a big deal. It’s so gloomy and dark. It’s a very heavy word.

But destiny breeds meaning and purpose. It makes me feel alive and whole. You can’t escape fate but you can become a master of your destiny.

Control is a word we seem not to grasp. The fact of the matter is this, if we’re in control of our lives it means we’re in control of our mistakes as well. All we ever see are the things that drag us down. Has it ever crossed your mind to look at the good things you have done and are capable of?

Maybe if we focused on the good things a little bit more we would halt ourselves from doing the bad things.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

This is a book critique I wrote for a class this past semester about a book by Donald Miller. I was going to write on the same subject but felt that I had said most of it through this paper so let me know what you think.

            Many people have attempted to discover the formula that will have them lead a purpose driven life. Whether it is through self-help books or a sermon, throughout the years, certain individuals have claimed to know the trick behind this meaningful lifestyle. Donald Miller, a man of controversial stature, makes no such claim yet offers a solution better than many men before him have proposed. According to Miller, a life of meaning can simply be reached by treating it as a story. Everyone’s life is a story that connects to others with the potential of meeting in a head-on collision.

             

           The theme of this book is simple. It is story. Miller writes personal stories that, on the surface do not seem to connect yet find a way toward each other by the end of the book. His style is personal, almost as if he is talking directly to each individual reader who happened to pick up his book. It feels as if he is having a conversation with a close friend rather than writing to a complete stranger. This enables Miller to be more open about his failures and short comings and this book spends a lot of time on those subjects. The subtitle of the book is a great synopsis, “What I learned while editing my life.”

           

           After writing a book that sold a lot of copies (Blue Like Jazz), Independent Filmmakers approached Donald Miller about making a movie based off of his book. They met and as they began to write together, Miller discovered his life was stale. After researching storytelling, through his new friends, the filmmakers, and a man by the name of Robert McKee, Miller began to incorporate what he learned about shaping story and characters into his own life, allowing him to find satisfaction in ways he’d never felt before.

           

          A good story can be summed up simply by the words of Miller’s friend who joined him at a conference held by the famous screenwriting champion, Robert McKee. Together, they came up with, “A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it”.

The sentence's structure is raw yet captures the essence of what story is truly about. The life of an individual can be looked at in a similar way. Stories are made up of people trying to fight for a cause or reaching goals. Goals are always the same. They can range from finding romance to someone going after his or her dream job. Goals are the reason humanity does what it does. Goals give people purpose. Boring lives become a reality when people give up on their dreams. Dreams inspire goal-driven lifestyles. People find that life is meaningless when they think the risk is too great a cost to trade for their comfort.

Miller writes about the impact of powerful stories that meet up with boring people. Throughout his journey, he hikes an incredible trail overseas, kayaks across a river for days, and rides a bike clear across the United States, all of which he did without being in fantastic shape. Each adventure held a different motivation to accomplish, yet he defied great odds to make them all happen and met incredible people along the way. During his hiking trip he developed a relationship with a woman who later became his girlfriend, and they shared a deeply meaningful relationship. As he journeyed down the river, he and his friends met a man who has written over five hundred pages of his own memories. His name is Bob, and he stresses the importance of memories and how they are capable of shaping one’s character.

A key ingredient in getting a story moving along is known as the inciting incident. The inciting incident is what forces the main character of a story into action. It makes the protagonist question the status quo or causes a young space farmer to challenge a corrupt government. The inciting incident takes shape in reality through various forms. It can happen through social injustice, an unpopular law enacted by the government, bigotry, a weaker child being beaten on by a bully, or even a false accusation. The list is enormous and different from person to person but what remains the same is that most people refuse to act. It is why so many people in the United States are comfortable with obesity. They know what they need to do in order to lose weight, yet they choose to stay the same because the level of difficulty is not worth the risk of missing out on delightful foods such as fried chicken and ice-cream. Obesity is a subject throughout Miller’s book because at the beginning of his story he was fat, but by the end after he took that first step toward telling a good story, he lost weight and is in decent shape today because of it.

Nothing in this world worth having comes without a price. Sacrifice and risk are essential elements to telling a good story. Who is going to watch a movie or read a book about a man who wakes up, goes to work, comes home from work, and goes to bed? The only way people will watch or read this story is if a beautiful woman wakes him up telling him his life is about to change or on his way home from work a man fires a weapon at him and he narrowly escapes death. Conflict is what creates an interesting story.  Without conflict everyone would just get what they want without truly gaining anything.

Lessons are not learned from achieving what is yearned for. Lessons are learned through the process and steps that were taken to get it. When the destination is reached, people get what they want but what they needed all along is discovered through the journey that brought them to that place. The fact of the matter is, people are searching for meaning and often lose themselves on the path to finding it. People find religion then decide it is not logical so they move onto a quest for knowledge rather than faith. It happens the other way around as well. C.S. Lewis was essentially talked into conversion and become one of the strongest Christian voices of his time.

Something that is often overlooked about history is that it is one large continuing story. Many will grumble and complain because history is all fact and statistics but realistically speaking, it is about characters that wanted something and overcame great conflict in order to get it. The same can be said about the Bible. It is full of what could be random stories but they all somehow intertwine because of a caring God and His son Jesus who overcame the greatest conflict to get what he wanted. His goal was freedom for all of humanity willing to accept it. His conflict is humanities greatest foe, its sin. His story is, to this day, the most powerful one to tell and connects all other stories.

The most heart and gut-wrenching moment of Miller’s book comes from his story of meeting his father. He grew up without many memories of his father and through his ideas of living a more meaningful story, decided to look into the whereabouts of his dad. He did and found out that his father died a few years earlier. He went on his hiking trip and came back and received a phone call from his mother, who told him that she talked to his father and that he really wanted to meet him. Miller was confused and not relieved. He had finally gotten used to the fact that his father was dead and he would never have to confront him about anything and with a slap in the face by the hand of reality old emotions and insecurities began to race back through his mind and heart.

He met with his father and overcame what was causing some of the greatest conflict in his life. Insecurity comes from the fear of mediocrity. It is all about us thinking we will not ever amount to more than what we see in the mirror. Insecurities fight the inciting incident. They keep destiny at a standstill, corrupting hope, faith, and will. The problem with this is that most people think that their own insecurities are a part of who they are so they accept them rather than fight them. Acceptance is the first step toward defeat. The minute a man or woman wants to make a situation work even though it is an unjust one is the same moment that man or woman becomes lost.

At the end of the day, people crave change. They have this innate desire to make something of their lives, but cannot cross the line into the realm of discomfort and uncertainty. Miller’s motivation behind writing this book was to inspire. More than likely, he would be okay if someone reading his book felt guilty because of their mediocre lifestyle. Guilt is an inciting incident. It is what sparks the imagination and makes great people out of good people. A true artist will not tell the world that his or her way is the only way but that it is one way to make a difference.

Toward the end of the book, Miller claims that before he made his life a good story worth telling he had become a fatalist. He sounded more like Solomon claiming that meaning could not be found because life is meaningless. He shows regret toward his past mindset but makes up for it by supporting many organizations and mentor groups across the country. He found purpose and put a plan into motion that would not only change his life but many who come into contact with him every day. He has some amazing stories to tell people and one can imagine that he does so with passion.

The man Bob who wrote over five hundred pages of memories had great character. He did not just write what he felt or about how his day went, he wrote his story of everyone he met and touched his family’s life. Bob had met dignitaries from across the world and even inspired an annual parade in his neighborhood. He is as common as a man can be yet what sets him apart from the rest is that his life is a story worth sharing. Bob’s legacy lives on in the pages of Miller’s book. His story has now been, briefly, shared with thousands of readers across the nation and maybe the world.

All it takes to make something happen is movement. Christians need to start look to God as a master storyteller. God is the connecting point in everyone’s story. Not everyone will come to know God, but everyone will at one point in their life try searching for Him. As creation, people need to know of their creator. Monks search in solitude, explorers become pilgrims as they journey through air, sea, land, and even space, while others sit in their corner of the world and write their story by living purposefully and joyfully.

Personal Connections

             

I have never been a fan of Donald Miller. I started reading Blue Like Jazz one time and felt that it was a man simply complaining about what annoys him. So I was reluctant to read A Million Miles until I discovered it was about story. Story fascinates me, and I hope to become a great storyteller one day, through my own story and through the stories of the characters I create and give life through fiction. You don’t have to have a life changing event occur in order for your story to find meaning. All it takes is a step out of your front door, holding God close to your heart, and an indomitable will. Meaning is just waiting for you to grab it, so reach out and make something of yourself. The message of this book is simple and confusing because we (people in general) do not know what it means to be somebody. Blending in is comfortable. Being like everyone else is easy. I no longer wish to live a life like those poor timid souls unwilling to change. I plan on living a story worth telling, and invite anyone else along for the ride that is willing to join in on the adventure.

Opposing Forces: Fear and Hope

What is your deepest fear?

This is a question I often ask people. Fear is something we never want to admit we have yet it has a way of finding itself seeping into our very thoughts and even our feelings. Fear consumes. It drives us to hating those around us and eventually hating ourselves. We hate ourselves because we’re the root of the problem. Somewhere along the way we lost our very being to a monster that wants all of us.

What is my deepest fear?

Being alone. Never fulfilling my calling. Mediocrity. Settling for less than necessary.

I’m afraid of a lot of things.

Living fearless is not about having nothing to be afraid of…living fearless is about overcoming your greatest fears.

Hope is a powerful force. Hope keeps our eyes on the horizon. The only thing is…hope can also be as paralyzing as fear. This is where we find chaos throughout the emotional spectrum. This is where everything collides and we find balance because without it we are left in turmoil.

Hope needs will to operate correctly. Without will, our hopes are in vain.

Hope is very important and ultimately pivotal in living a balanced life. The problem is that once we start to put our hopes in too many sources we start to spread them thin. Hope is only powerful if it is placed in the correct hands.

A TV show I love taught me a way to look at it. A character is asked about her faith and what sets her apart from others that share her faith. Her response is, “I Hope in as few ways as possible.”

In regards to hope and fear being opposing forces…fear focuses us on the past but hope gears our brains toward the future.

Fear keeps us grounded in pain whereas hope gives our wings flight.

Oftentimes, hope gives us second wind through moments of doubt. Doubtful moments breed fear. Emotional circumstances are about escalation. The initial feeling of fear will not break you, it is when you let it grab a hold of your will and let it take control that causes destruction.

In the past I’ve drawn an example that hope is like a band-aid. A band-aid covers up an injury allowing it time to heal. The bandage itself does nothing but cover your eyes to what is happening (yeah it does protect but for the sake of my example bear with me). Every now and then you’ll peel back the band-aid in order to check on the process but otherwise you won’t pay much attention to it and why is that?

Because you expect it to get better on its own without your help. This is the definition of hope.

In the end, Love cannot exist without hope; compassion cannot exist without love. Starting to see the pattern?

The emotional spectrum is vast and many more emotions exist outside of the ones I have mentioned. Willpower is at the center of it all. If you haven’t caught on, willpower is simply self-control and I think you’d agree with me in the fact that it sounds more adventurous calling it willpower.

If we can control our emotions we will have balance and that is what ultimately matters.

If you have control over your emotions you have control over your hearts reaction to situations. It will allow you to cope when things go wrong because you can never stop that from happening. What you can do is have the willpower necessary to make sure you do not overreact…through greed, rage, or fear but instead reach with compassion, love or hope.

   Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- by Marianne Williamson

Opposing Forces: Rage and Love

I have been avoiding this entry for a while because after I posted my previous one I realized that this is the least interesting to me of the series. The thing is, love is far too broad of a topic to cover and could cause confusion since I'm looking at it strictly from an emotional perspective. So I need to clarify this all upfront, if I say anything that seems offbeat in regards to love it may because I'm only looking at the surface of the issue rather than diving deep into truly defining the word.

The purpose of Northern Light(s) as a whole was to dive more into relationships between each other and how we can develop them better. My ultimate goal is to ask questions rather than answer them.

Let's focus on rage first. There are two different definitions I came across I wish to look at:

1. Fury, A state of extreme anger.
2.  Something that is desired intensely.

As I stated in my previous entry, greed, rage, and fear are all self-based emotions. Rage is the extreme step above anger and both emotions are felt, mostly, when you have been wronged in some way.

Anger is often a justified feeling since it often comes out of betrayal or pain that others have inflicted upon you. Rage is what happens when you allow anger to intensify after internalizing your feelings towards those who have done something bad to you. Essentially what happens is you get hurt, you let that emotion of hurt turn into anger, and then after letting it sit for a little while rage takes control of your heart.

Often friends help your rage grow. 

"Wow, I can't believe they did that to you." 

Or my personal favorite heartless comforting phrase:

"Don't worry, they'll get it in the end."

Rage is one of the most dangerous emotions along the spectrum because it clouds your judgment and consumes your mind. You develop tunnel-vision and become focused on thoughts of revenge or even hatred. All you see is your own pain.

An obvious cure for rage would seem to be a loving spirit and it is. Love is on the opposite side of the spectrum. Love is pure and ultimately selfless in comparison to rage. The only problem with love is when it often crosses the line toward something else which people tend to hide behind. Many have done selfish things hiding behind love when it was really lust, among other things. 

You see, something people fail to realize about love is that's it is more about what you can do for others than it is about what can be done for you.

The common theme amongst the positive side of the spectrum is that they are selfless, but what people fail to realize is that sometimes even the purest of emotions can be manipulated for personal gain. Love is the one most commonly manipulated. People utilize others abilities to connect to their emotions for their own gain all the time. Whether a homeless man plays off of someone's compassion to pan-handle (not all pan-handlers are bad but I've heard some dangerous stories!) or a teenage boy convinces a girl he's in love with her to get in her pants, manipulation happens.

Love can be defined as: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.

I stated that love is more about what you do for others than you do for yourself and that transcends simple romantic love (not that this is a simple topic). It is also true for all of your relationships. I'm convinced that the love you share with your friends is one of the most powerful emotional connections there is. Let me explain:

You're born into your family and there's an automatic emotional connection made through the fact that you're of the same flesh and blood. Your parents raise you and your brothers and sisters annoy you, but you all, for some reason, care about each other through a strong connection (obviously there are certain scenarios that negate this, but I imagine there's a connection regardless of poor parental involvement).

Also, when it comes to a romantic connection there are obvious reasons for them being made. You meet someone of the opposite sex. You fall in love with them. You connect at a deep emotional level that is almost symbiotic since the two of you are so different from each other but sacrifice so much so the two of you can be together. Finally, through marriage or other methods, you connect physically as the maker intended (imagine that being said with an Irish accent, it just feels right).

Now to my long-winded point. The reason friendship connections are so strong is that there is nothing previously there that motivates us to make them happen nor is there the promise of that physical/emotional relationship in the future. You're just a couple of people with like minds and hearts who learn to love each other by association. You share your dreams and develop a sense of destiny together.

I realize that not all friendships take that kind of a turn, but I'll be honest, my closest friends have allowed me to feel a sense of purpose in my loneliest hours. They have helped me find strength I wasn't aware existed and for that I am more than grateful.

I love my friends.

Sure, they make me angry at times but the love we share is more powerful than the potential rage. Rage is the true test against love. You know that two people care about each other more than they do themselves when they get into a fight that should break them apart, and they do...for a time. But they ultimately find themselves back to each other. Everyone fights...everyone argues yet we have to rise above that rage that dwells inside our hearts in those moments.

Really, it comes down to motives (yes another common theme). Emotions are all about motives. Rage can only take place if you love yourself more than you love those around you. I know this sounds harsh but I see no way around it.
 
At the end of the day, emotions will always be about control. Willpower is at the center of the spectrum because it's what brings everything else together. When you love someone, will is what causes you to act out on it. When you feel that rage toward someone who hurt you, will is what suppresses the fury and gives you balance.

All it takes is some control and balance in order for survival to take place. Everyone has in them the strength and will to make it through the day. The only question is whether or not they're willing to accept the responsibility of acting selflessly.

As always, it's about the decisions you make that create who you are. You can choose to live wisely or you can choose to live poorly.

It's your call.

Who do you want to be?

-Chris "Highball" Peters

Next up will be an exciting conversation...We get Fear and Hope. Two of my favorite topics. But until then, I'm always up for dialog.

Opposing Forces: Avarice and Compassion

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."
-William Penn

In my previous entry I stated that I would be talking about the Emotional Spectrum in my next entries. Today, the topic of avarice and compassion have been on my mind, given that I feel they are the opposites of each other.

The Emotional spectrum is an idea formed by Geoff Johns through a popular comic series in which certain emotions power different groups of people. There are negative emotions and there are positive ones. But each one interacts with each other in impacting ways. So let's start by defining our two emotions:

• Avarice (Greed): Excessive or inordinate desire of gain; greediness after wealth; covetousness; cupidity; Inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs or deserves...
• Compassion: a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering; the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. 

It should be pretty easy to see the difference between the two of these. Avarice is about what you can do for yourself, whereas compassion is about what you can do for others.

I've seen greed drive so many people to do extremely selfish things and it's terrible to imagine that's the world we live in. I would love to blame American society for greed, but let's face it, humanity hasn't changed much. We are driven by the same instinctive desires as our ancestors and have to deal with them the same way as they did.

I can understand why people want to possess more, there's a lot of amazing things out there! Technology has come such a long way and it's remarkable how much we have progressed throughout the years. I think it's natural to want something. A part of story is being goal oriented. Without goals, how would we have direction?

The key thing to remember when it comes to wanting something is:

What are your motives? Why do you want _____________?

At the center of the emotional spectrum lies will. The will to act is one of the key ingredients into controlling your emotions and finding balance in life. A lot of people (mainly Christians) would scoff at the idea of willpower. I don't.

I think it's important to remember that we have designed with tools and abilities to overcome our emotional struggles. In the case of avarice it's as simple as ignoring the desires that are self serving. It's difficult, especially when someone you know has what you want. Envy is dangerous and destructive. It eats at you until you lose yourself in your desire, and you forget why you wanted it in the first place.

The truth of the matter is that maybe in the beginning your motives were pure.

"Man if I had this _____________ maybe, just maybe, I could make a different in someone's life"...yet you never acquire what you wished for. You grow a disdain for other people who are better off than you are and even for people that offer up encouragement.

the trick is to fight these desires with a more pure emotions. This is where compassion comes into play. In the past I've talked about the differences between sympathy and empathy. I've stated that sympathy is the right step above pity and that empathy is the pure form of sympathy. Sympathy is simply about loyalty and telling a friend you understand why they feel the way they do. Empathy is actually putting yourself in their shoes and feeling what they feel.

However, compassion, is wanting to do something to help those you now feel for. It's a step by step process that ends with action. You have to arrive at the understanding that you must strive to look out for the needs of others.

Compassion is one of the rarest emotions in humanity. In fact, we suffer from not having enough of it. Greed has overpowered it for far too long and it's heartbreaking.  I've often written about how selfishness must turn into selflessness in order for growth to take place. This goes hand in hand with the ideas surrounding compassion.

I focus on the individual because the whole will change if individuals become...well, individual. Knowing who you are is important in order to shine your light. Everyone needs to receive compassion and everyone needs to give it. The more compassion you show for others the closer you become to finding who you are. Compassion breeds identity. 

At the end of the day, you have to decide who you are going to be. I'm convinced that life doesn't truly begin until you decide to put away your selfish desires and start living for the people around you. It starts with compassion and ends with inspiring hope. Compassion seems meaningless if other people don't take the hint and find it in their own hearts. A domino effect needs to occur if change is to take place in the lives you touch.

As I've stated, willpower is at the center of the spectrum. Without it there is no control and no balance. Where you acquire the will to act is completely up to what you believe in and what you hope for. Even compassion can have a negative impact on you if you're not careful with what you give away. Sometimes you can give and give and give until there's nothing left for you to give.

Soul care is important which is why you must find balance. I believe C.S. Lewis was the one who said that an extreme of anything is a bad thing. Even compassion has its limits.

Let me encourage you with this: Live so that others may see how its done. If we focus on the helping those in need, our problems will become easier to handle and our fear will be easier to overcome.

Chris "Highball" Peters

Next up: Opposing Forces: Rage and Love

Will To Stand

"My thoughts and emotions shift. My body aches. My soul does not. I'm finally thinking clearly. I'm finally thinking like me...No more fear. But plenty of damn will. Will to stand up. Will to fight. And Will to live."

-Hal Jordan

I've said in the past that I have this romantic notion of heroism and I've also opened up discussions of fear quite often. The thing is, fear has far too much control over our actions than it should and until we all find a way to get over fear I won't stop writing about it.

Yet I don't think that's ever going to happen, because fear doesn't work that way. To overcome fear once is a wonderful first step but it won't stop there. Fear is not eradicated but pushed back. When you overcome something that first time it doesn't make you automatically unafraid in the future, it just makes it easier to overcome the next time it comes around.

For those looking for a biblical perspective, the bible says that, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

Say what you will, but we are incapable of perfect love on our own. That doesn't mean we stop striving to grasp it, it just means that we may have to work harder than most Christians would lead you to believe.

I believe that at the heart of every human is a desire to be better. It's a drive that can be healthy and dangerous because also at the heart of every human is a desire to be self-serving. Becoming better for one man might have him taking care of those who can't do so themselves, while for another it might mean seeking fortune and glory.

Emotions are a powerful source of strength yet need to be harnessed correctly. Balance is necessary in controlling yourself.

When I become emotional, I tend to internalize. I don't want people to be able to read me so I bottle it up. It used to break my heart doing this, until I found a group of friends I could trust to release my emotions with. I don't do so with a crutch mindset, I've just allowed these people to see my heart.

The emotional spectrum is vast, but some of the basic emotions have been labeled by Geoff Johns quite well in a series called Blackest Night.

We have avarice, rage, fear, hope, love, compassion, and at the center of it all lies will. No one is free of feeling, no matter how internal they have become. They all feed off of each other, where some act in perfect harmony with each other while some clash.

The negative side of the spectrum (avarice, rage, fear) are all considered weaknesses. When we act out in fear or anger or greed we're looked at as cowards. When we act in love, hope or with compassion we're looked at as noble heroes.

I know in the past I've stated that I have a plan to write about a certain set of ideas and then never followed through but this time I'm going to do my best to continue this discussion of the emotional spectrum and why will is key in understanding and controlling each of them.

It's time for rebirth, a pledge I've made and am striving for. 

I invite you along for the journey and hope to see something amazing rise from the adventure.

-Chris "Highball" Peters

(If you catch the reference not only will you call me a nerd but I'll also be impressed)

By Your Side

"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself the same way. Those are the risks. That’s the burden.
Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly."

-Dr. Temperance Brennan (Bones)

Love.

It's truly a remarkable emotion. I use the word emotion very lightly because it's much more than that. Love has caused a lot of things, from freedom to pain.

Love is probably the most powerful thing in the world. What else could drive a man to insanity over a woman, yet allow a father to sacrifice himself for his son (made up scenario inspired by John Q)?

Love is very controversial. It can cause bitterness, jadedness, and sometimes hatred toward others.

Love allows for people to be open. It calls for believing in others and hopefully they'll believe in you as well.

Are we capable of having true love for someone else?

Stories have told us that it's real. Whether you read it in Twilight or watch The Princess Bride it's a selling point for many great stories (I'm not saying Twilight is great, it's just what the kids like nowadays so I'm maintaining relevancy).  True love is brought up because you and I desire to know it. We wish to feel it and call it home.

That's why romantic comedies are a huge genre (it's just the new term for a chick-flick). People want to see stories where Guy A finds his 'soul-mate' in Girl B. They want to know that there is hope for them. I know I've had those feelings before and most people are afraid to admit that.

For someone who is single, the idea that he/she was made for another person and vice versa, is hard to see. After miles of disappointment and failure that becomes all they know. When you open yourself up for love and you're heart continuously gets crushed, failure becomes routine.

Love destroys lives.

But that's not all it does. It also has the capacity to free us. It has this amazing ability to allow us to, as Bones put it, fly. Love allows us to feel apart of something greater than what we see in front of us.

Is it worth it?

I think we all can agree that love is tricky.

I don't believe in soul-mates. I think that the whole idea seems all too 'fictiony' for me. It's this romanticized notion that you won't be complete until you meet a certain someone.

Who you are is and never will be who you are when you're in a relationship. I know too many couples that are identified by the relationship and not about the individuals. Those relationships are doomed to fail, because it's really not wrapped up in true love.

Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are. Sure there's a level of compromise involved in relationships but you can never give up yourself completely (in a negative way, change can be good if you are in fact someone who needs to be changed) for someone else.

With that said, I have a warped view. I've never been in a dating relationship. Most of the people who read this are aware of this, and I've been told that I can't understand love then.

Maybe they're right. Maybe everything I"m writing right now is simply conjecture. Maybe I have no right to have thoughts on the subject.

I know what love is. I know what it means to care about others more than for myself and to say it's different when it involves a woman only makes sense to an extent. No, I've never been 'in love' with a girl before. But there are things I am in love with and I know that's different but it's still real.

At the end of the day, love is about sacrifice. Love is about taking care of other's needs before your own. Love is about feeling as well as doing. We are all meant to love, even those who do not share our calling. It is designed within us, and whether you show it through romance or sacrifice for others, it's still the driving force that allows for so many people to sprout wings.

Our hearts yearn to be free. Love helps break the chains that keep us grounded. Were the Beatles onto something when they sang, "All we need is love..."

Maybe...maybe not.

I don't think that all we need is love, but that's another conversation entirely so for now I leave you with this: 

True love exists and we are all capable of finding it. The journey is hard and difficult, but in the end it'll be worth it. Sure you can hope for a better future, but find a way to make that future become a reality. Do everything within your power to make the future happen, then everything else will fall into place the way it's supposed to.

-Chris