Ending Expectations

Endings are never easy. I always build them up so much in my head they can’t possibly live up to my expectations and I just end up disappointed. I’m not even sure why it matters so much to me how things end here.

I guess it’s because we all want to believe that what we do is very important. That people hang onto our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that it’s all about the people you let into your life...

- John Dorian From Scrubs

Endings are seldom easy regardless of what is over. A school year, a relationship, a job you loved, and more importantly your favorite meal that was prepared perfectly for you.

I wrote of adventure in my last entry and I still believe that life is one long, grand journey that has its great moments. It's like nothing is able to tear down the mountain which you finally reached the top of. Life brings you to heights you only could dream of reaching. Nothing could bring you down.

Then, you look down the mountain and can't see what's in front of you. You realize that you're trapped and have no idea which way to move toward. You have no idea where your future lies.

All of your courage vanishes.

Your willpower, that normally moves you forward, dies.

Fear takes over.

What do I do now?

It's almost as if you want someone to tell you what you should do, or tell you where to go next.

This makes it difficult to see a future and know what it will bring. Often times, life makes you afraid more than it makes you secure.

The future can be frightening. Uncertainty doesn't offer much comfort for the weary traveler. But it's what you have. You have to find a way to deal with it no matter the circumstance.

And as my mind drifted to faces I’d seen here before, I was taken to memories of family, co workers, of lost loves, even of those who have left us. And as I rounded that corner they all came at me in a wave of shared experience.

When your life takes a major detour, it's best to think of all the good memories you shared with those close to you. Sometimes, good experiences can help you through the toughest decisions no matter how far away they are from you.

All great moments must end. Every thing that happens, good or bad, will end. Life is full of its ups, downs, sharp turns and even irritable bumps (if you're main option of travel is a car of course).

Great moments are rare and without them, you can't get out of the soul damaging moments. Life is cyclical.

And even though it felt warmer and safe, I knew it had to end. It’s never good to live in the past too long. As for the future, thanks to Dan it didn’t seem so scary any more. It could be whatever I want it to be.

As long you understand that you are not promised a life of safety and that there are going to be just as many bad times, if not more, as there are good, you'll be able to survive. Expectations can destroy the future. They can destroy your future. When you do not expect something to happen, it makes the moment all the more rewarding, but you can't live by this.

If you live for the good moments, you will find much more disappointment than satisfaction. Don't mistake this as a call to pessimism or cynicism, but rather a call to be on guard and expect the unexpected.

Plan to be surprised.

When you live to follow your personal goals and they align with your calling in life anything that is standing in your way will not be difficult to move. Know that many things will stand in your way, but take pride in knowing that your dreams are just around the corner.

Your wildest dreams are waiting to be reached. All you have to do is walk through the curtain and take a step onto the stage where the applause of adoring fans welcome you to destiny.

Who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who’s to tell me that my fantasies won’t come true?

Just this once.