In Brightest Day

Lately it seems as though my life has been at a standstill. It's almost like a wall was placed in front of me that runs too high to climb and too far to walk around with the sledge hammer, strong enough to break through the wall, dropped on the other side of the wall.

Of course, I can't entirely blame it on my school year ending, because I started feeling this way about a month and a half ago.

So what exactly is my problem?

I don't know.

What I do know is that my excuses will only go so far, so I won't try to make any.

Alongside this notion of apathy (for lack of a better description) I've felt something deeper. It is difficult to explain without sounding arrogant so I want it to be clear that I do not mean to sound that way.

While I was still in school this past semester I was involved with a prayer meeting of sorts. The leader of said meeting, put words up at different times that we were supposed to ponder over individually. The idea was for something to click when a certain word would show up. I wasn't sure what to expect so I kept an open mind.

I wasn't prepared for what I felt echo through my soul.

I cannot tell you the other words that were shown that day, but I can remember this one.

Capacity.

But, that wasn't the only word I felt in my heart. I also felt a small phrasing I was unfamiliar with.

"Capacity for greatness."

I can't fully explain it or comprehend it, but I felt God stirring a passion in my heart. It felt as though he was trying to say that I was/am being prepared to hold greatness inside of me. So like any man who receives information about his future I hid.

I felt fear which still has a hold on me today.

Fear has been on my mind lately, mostly due to the fact that I'm feeling it in full force and also because of my interest in Green Lantern Comics.

A Green Lantern's strength lies in his or her ability to overcome great fear. They have a strong willpower. This does not mean that fear cannot overtake them, but that when it does they can purge it with a vengeance.

I believe that all of us have the ability to overcome great fear but ironically we're too scared to see past our...fear.

We become too afraid to see our full potential and it immobilizes us. It brings us to our knees, not in humility but in a false submission.

We think that if we give into our fear that it will become a part of who we are and we won't have to deal with it anymore.

Your life will never reach its full capacity if you let fear take control. Life is halted when fear has power over you, over anyone.

Courage has no power over fear.

Courage is a weapon that can be used against fear, but on its own it is useless. Courage is equipped by those ready to take control. Too often, courage is dropped, mostly because its wielders are in great need of looking past their failures.

I mentioned earlier that everyone has the ability to overcome great fear, but that doesn't mean everyone will step up or even know how to.

Humanity needs its torchbearers, the ones who are ready to lead the way. Without someone to take the first step, who will inspire the masses?

I don't know what my destiny is and I'm not going to tell you that I'm a torchbearer because there haven't been any indications of that so far.

I'm done with fear.

I'm done with this paralysis of the heart.

It's time to reach my potential with nothing but strength.

It's time for me to not live in fear.


In brightest day,
In blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight,
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power,
Green Lantern's Light.
-Oath of The Green Lantern Corps