Long Time Reflection

I believe it was Erwin McManus who stated that all of your relationships are a reflection of your character.   From your best friend to your boyfriend/girlfriend to your worst enemy, all of your relationships go into defining who you are.

So what does that mean exactly?

You may be thinking:

I'm not like my enemies, am I?


I understand being like my best friend or my girlfriend, but really, like my enemy?

Keep in mind, I did not say that you are like those who you interact with on a daily basis, I just said that your relationship with those people are a reflection of your character.

So let's start with defining character.

• The quality of a person.

 Your character is who you are and what you do because of who you are. If you have poor character, you'll more than likely be a sour individual. If you have great character, you'll probably be an exceptional person.

How you interact with someone who you don't like, is more important than how you interact with those that you are fond of. I've always felt that your true character comes out in dark moments and when you are at your worst.

So why can't we treat our character, when we feel like being hateful/spiteful/mean-spirited, the same way?

That's not to say that it's not important to treat those close to you in the right way. On the contrary, those people who are closest to you should be the most important relationships you have, so treat them as such.

When your girlfriend needs a shoulder to cry on, bring something to wipe the tears away.


When your best friend needs to vent, ready your ears for a yell fest!


When your boyfriend doesn't want to be alone, but has nothing to say, sit back and enjoy the silence.

The list goes on.

Inside all of us is the desire to be better than we were yesterday and if your relationships aren't helping you accomplish that, then you have a problem that must be fixed. I know that I've said in the past that friendships are about making sacrifices and doing what's best for your friend, but that's not always true.

Yes, sometimes you have to give up what you want so that other's can survive, but sometimes all you have to ask yourself is, what do you want?

At the end of the day, it's about who you are when it's over. True relationship relies on two individuals being better off than they were before they met the other person. If  a close friend, or someone you care about greatly is taking away from your being happy, then you should reconsider that relationship.

Sure you can hope that things will chance, you can hope things will get better and things may. Sometimes, what you think you want the most, is not what you need. I know how cliche that can sound, but it's the truth.

Your relationships are everything. If you can't turn off the lights at night happy for who you have in your life, I'd think twice about who you spend your time with. This isn't to say that you should never hang out with rotten people. The point is, that those who you keep close, should build you up.

I've heard that you are who your friends are, so as for me, I'd say I'm pretty well off if this is true.

-Chris