"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself the same way. Those are the risks. That’s the burden.
Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly."
-Dr. Temperance Brennan (Bones)
Love.
It's truly a remarkable emotion. I use the word emotion very lightly because it's much more than that. Love has caused a lot of things, from freedom to pain.
Love is probably the most powerful thing in the world. What else could drive a man to insanity over a woman, yet allow a father to sacrifice himself for his son (made up scenario inspired by John Q)?
Love is very controversial. It can cause bitterness, jadedness, and sometimes hatred toward others.
Love allows for people to be open. It calls for believing in others and hopefully they'll believe in you as well.
Are we capable of having true love for someone else?
Stories have told us that it's real. Whether you read it in Twilight or watch The Princess Bride it's a selling point for many great stories (I'm not saying Twilight is great, it's just what the kids like nowadays so I'm maintaining relevancy). True love is brought up because you and I desire to know it. We wish to feel it and call it home.
That's why romantic comedies are a huge genre (it's just the new term for a chick-flick). People want to see stories where Guy A finds his 'soul-mate' in Girl B. They want to know that there is hope for them. I know I've had those feelings before and most people are afraid to admit that.
For someone who is single, the idea that he/she was made for another person and vice versa, is hard to see. After miles of disappointment and failure that becomes all they know. When you open yourself up for love and you're heart continuously gets crushed, failure becomes routine.
Love destroys lives.
But that's not all it does. It also has the capacity to free us. It has this amazing ability to allow us to, as Bones put it, fly. Love allows us to feel apart of something greater than what we see in front of us.
Is it worth it?
I think we all can agree that love is tricky.
I don't believe in soul-mates. I think that the whole idea seems all too 'fictiony' for me. It's this romanticized notion that you won't be complete until you meet a certain someone.
Who you are is and never will be who you are when you're in a relationship. I know too many couples that are identified by the relationship and not about the individuals. Those relationships are doomed to fail, because it's really not wrapped up in true love.
Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are. Sure there's a level of compromise involved in relationships but you can never give up yourself completely (in a negative way, change can be good if you are in fact someone who needs to be changed) for someone else.
With that said, I have a warped view. I've never been in a dating relationship. Most of the people who read this are aware of this, and I've been told that I can't understand love then.
Maybe they're right. Maybe everything I"m writing right now is simply conjecture. Maybe I have no right to have thoughts on the subject.
I know what love is. I know what it means to care about others more than for myself and to say it's different when it involves a woman only makes sense to an extent. No, I've never been 'in love' with a girl before. But there are things I am in love with and I know that's different but it's still real.
Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens which allow us to fly."
-Dr. Temperance Brennan (Bones)
Love.
It's truly a remarkable emotion. I use the word emotion very lightly because it's much more than that. Love has caused a lot of things, from freedom to pain.
Love is probably the most powerful thing in the world. What else could drive a man to insanity over a woman, yet allow a father to sacrifice himself for his son (made up scenario inspired by John Q)?
Love is very controversial. It can cause bitterness, jadedness, and sometimes hatred toward others.
Love allows for people to be open. It calls for believing in others and hopefully they'll believe in you as well.
Are we capable of having true love for someone else?
Stories have told us that it's real. Whether you read it in Twilight or watch The Princess Bride it's a selling point for many great stories (I'm not saying Twilight is great, it's just what the kids like nowadays so I'm maintaining relevancy). True love is brought up because you and I desire to know it. We wish to feel it and call it home.
That's why romantic comedies are a huge genre (it's just the new term for a chick-flick). People want to see stories where Guy A finds his 'soul-mate' in Girl B. They want to know that there is hope for them. I know I've had those feelings before and most people are afraid to admit that.
For someone who is single, the idea that he/she was made for another person and vice versa, is hard to see. After miles of disappointment and failure that becomes all they know. When you open yourself up for love and you're heart continuously gets crushed, failure becomes routine.
Love destroys lives.
But that's not all it does. It also has the capacity to free us. It has this amazing ability to allow us to, as Bones put it, fly. Love allows us to feel apart of something greater than what we see in front of us.
Is it worth it?
I think we all can agree that love is tricky.
I don't believe in soul-mates. I think that the whole idea seems all too 'fictiony' for me. It's this romanticized notion that you won't be complete until you meet a certain someone.
Who you are is and never will be who you are when you're in a relationship. I know too many couples that are identified by the relationship and not about the individuals. Those relationships are doomed to fail, because it's really not wrapped up in true love.
Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are. Sure there's a level of compromise involved in relationships but you can never give up yourself completely (in a negative way, change can be good if you are in fact someone who needs to be changed) for someone else.
With that said, I have a warped view. I've never been in a dating relationship. Most of the people who read this are aware of this, and I've been told that I can't understand love then.
Maybe they're right. Maybe everything I"m writing right now is simply conjecture. Maybe I have no right to have thoughts on the subject.
I know what love is. I know what it means to care about others more than for myself and to say it's different when it involves a woman only makes sense to an extent. No, I've never been 'in love' with a girl before. But there are things I am in love with and I know that's different but it's still real.
At the end of the day, love is about sacrifice. Love is about taking care of other's needs before your own. Love is about feeling as well as doing. We are all meant to love, even those who do not share our calling. It is designed within us, and whether you show it through romance or sacrifice for others, it's still the driving force that allows for so many people to sprout wings.
Our hearts yearn to be free. Love helps break the chains that keep us grounded. Were the Beatles onto something when they sang, "All we need is love..."
Maybe...maybe not.
I don't think that all we need is love, but that's another conversation entirely so for now I leave you with this:
True love exists and we are all capable of finding it. The journey is hard and difficult, but in the end it'll be worth it. Sure you can hope for a better future, but find a way to make that future become a reality. Do everything within your power to make the future happen, then everything else will fall into place the way it's supposed to.
-Chris
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He brings something up in that book that I find quite interesting. He talks about story and what it takes to make a great story. Now we know what that is because we know how to write a screenplay. But he also mentions that we can't expect for our spouse to be Jesus. They are after all just human. They are just another man or another woman. They will not rescue or save you. They are merely someone you choose to share life with.
And Chris, I have been "in love," and I can say that I think you understand love in a way most people never come to understand it. You're right when you say that love is about sacrifice and about accepting another for who they are. In a man, I only care if he accepts me for who I am, not what I can do for him and if he is willing to sacrifice everything for His Savior. God is love. We must look to Him for our example of true love.
I think we should live our lives to the fullest and not be sitting around waiting for someone to share life with. Our life is happening before and after that person becomes a part of it. Enjoy and create the story. Sure, the story will involve pain and suffering. But let's get off the couch and create. After all, stories don't just create themselves now do they?