Wolf Like Me

“I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves...Because nothing sucks more than being all alone. No matter how many people are around.”
-J.D. From Scrubs

Loneliness has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it's safe to say that everyone has dealt with being alone at some point in their life.

Some people go through their whole lives surrounded by friends, yet have never felt the comfort that comes with great friendship, because at the heart of every person is a need to be wanted even when it seems that they have everything.

On a personal level, I feel alone often and I have great friends and a great family. I haven't ever had a better relationship with God than I do right now and yet, deep within me lies this void that has yet to be filled.

I'm not in pain. I feel fine. You won't see loneliness in my eyes when you see me, but sometimes at night I go to bed wondering what it is that I am missing.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. I have never been more positive that I am heading in the right direction than I do right now, yet I still sometimes feel alone.

Jack's Mannequin asks the question in a song called Dark Blue:

"Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?"

That's a great question. Loneliness is a hurt that comes from a long line of pain. Every time I feel alone, I try to remember the relationships I currently have. I think of my closest friends and what they've done for me. Yeah, they aren't perfect but I don't expect them to be.

I think that there are different aspects and levels of emotional pain. Anything from verbal abuse to dealing with feelings of abandonment can all cause pain that can be easily covered up yet run so deep in our system that it begins to take over who we are.

I have shared through heartache, grief, hurt, and a lot of pain with many people and loneliness still seems to be the least fleeting feeling to experience.

I think the trick to dealing with being alone is to never stop looking for the good in your current relationships. Never forget about where you've come from with the friends that you have. If they are good ones, they'll be there for you regardless of what you do.

And if you don't have those friends that would take a bullet for you, find them. I know it can be hard to make friends, but sometimes the victory of discovering someone who is always there for you, can make you feel a part of something.

People have this innate desire to do community. They want to be a part of something greater than themselves but most of the time feel all too helpless and won't take a step outside of their shell.

In the end, all it takes is a determined spirit. You may be alone now, but what is down the road no one knows.

So keep your head up...

Hope daringly...

And live passionately.