I Will Follow You Into the Dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

-I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie 

How far would I be willing to go to help out a friend?

Would I put aside my own feelings to helping someone deal with their own pains?

At what length would I go to help mend a broken heart?

Have you ever stopped and asked questions like these? You talk a big game about how loyal you are to your friends, but when it comes down to it you're not sure if you could handle the pressure?

I've talked about pain in previous posts, but on an individual basis. What I want to journey through today is dealing with other people's hurt. 

What happens when you have a friend dealing with a pain you can't relate to?

what happens when you have a friend dealing with a pain that you can't do anything to help him or her with?

Right now, I really just have a lot of questions, but I want to theorize for a moment. I understand that pain is an essential part of who I am. I've embraced my pain, and yes it still hurts when I think about certain moments of my past, but I do not let that control who I am. It influences my actions and my relationships (sometimes for negative results but not always).

Good friends are hard to come by. I know with me personally, I'd like to think that I'm a great friend to have, but do my actions prove my thoughts?

I think that helping others through their issues and problems comes from our abilities to listen. It's not always about having the right thing to say, it's more about the right thing to do. This is difficult for me, because I hate silence when others are around. 

I'm the idiot who breaks the silence.

Even if I end up saying the wrong thing.

The problem with this is sometimes, great moments can be born from silence. Friendships are built on the ability to know when someone is there. It's that feeling of accomplishment of going to bed, knowing that there are people out there who care about you. It's a rare feeling to have, but it's a great one to feel from time to time.

I think that there are times that I get so caught up with trying to be the strong friend, that I lose sight of everyone else's feelings, including my own. I find myself answering rhetorical questions, even though I should just be there to say, "I'm so sorry, yeah that does suck". 

At the end of the day, it's hard to do the right thing. Most of the time, the right thing looks like the wrong thing because people might get hurt. It's hard to look past your pain that is taking place in a  single moment. So as a friend, you have to just sit back, empathize, and simply be present.

You have to decide how far you would go to helping someone, even if that means leaving them be for a while.

It's a hard decisions to make, but it's one that must be made.

“There comes a time when every man (woman) has to make a choice. Whether it’s a professional choice…Or whether it’s a personal choice. In the end, it’s about integrity. And it’s about chasing after what you really want. Even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes…well, sometimes you just have to do what’s right for your friend. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.”

-John Dorian (Scrubs)