Missed Opportunities

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Disappointment is a hard feeling to cope with. Whether it be that you're disappointed in someone else or that someone else is disappointed in you, it can really hurt.

It's not just disappointment. You can replace to word with anything that fits for you. Most harsh feelings are hard to deal with.

Problems occur in every relationship. There's no such thing as a perfect one regardless of how great things may seem in your life. Sure you may ignore problems but eventually the water comes to a boiling point.

Moving on.

Why is that so hard?

Most of the time, we can't move on from situations that hurt us, because we haven't let them go. That could mean that someone is holding something over you or it could mean that you're having internal problems that haven't surfaced yet. Normally, it's the second one that takes place but that doesn't negate the first one.

When internal problems do surface, it's as if you run into a brick wall. That wall is reality. Maybe your problems surfaced so that you could face them head on. It's a tough place to have to confront people, it's even harder to have to confront yourself.

You may get to a place where you feel like everything is taken care of, yet you still can't move on.

If you're there, I can't really help you, because timing is the only thing that is holding you back. Timing is something you cannot force into operation or to do something for you.

Quite frankly, time can be my biggest enemy. I'm a fixer. If something is wrong in my life, I have to isolate the problem and take care of it immediately. In a perfect world, I could move on from situations very easily. But this isn't my perfect world. This world has unnecessary factors, such as people.

People, no matter how much you think you get, will always surprise you. We are the most unpredictable of all creation. We have the capacity for endless vanity and selflessness all in the same body.

I have a lot of problems that I have to face one at a time. Sometimes, they can just build up and start knocking me to the ground. I feel a storm coming, which will cause massive emotional and physical pain.

I'd like to say that I'll be able to handle it, but to be completely honest, I don't know how much more I can take.

The thing is, all of the pain I've gone through, from my relationships to physical hurt, I have made it through. I never thought I would and I hoped and prayed that I would never have these problems again.

So here I am again. Stronger. Better. Smarter...Yet I'm weak, mediocre, and stupid, because I'm facing more of the same problems.

My point in saying all of this is not to come off with a low self-esteem, although many will read it that way. What I'm trying to say is that even though I've only lived a short amount of time, a lot of the problems we go through will rehash themselves. They'll take form in a different setting, with different people, but it will be the same you.

I'd love to end this by saying, "Let go and let God." But I don't think that's the end of this. I think that's the beginning because in the end, when it seems like something is ending, normally a greater part of your journey is about to start.

Live with great expectation. Risk in the here and now. Dare to be better.

At the end of the day, your life is yours to live. Trust in that and trust that everything will be okay.